I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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