so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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