Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I smell stomach acid.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
