come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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