Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
