I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
and she was petting her beer can
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
