When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
