Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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