First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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