So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
