Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
