I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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