i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
