That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
