They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
