sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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