based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
