If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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