nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
