you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
