You're completely useless in the revolution.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
two words...techno handjob
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
