i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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