Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
