Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
