it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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