oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
