she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
