i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
