I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
