he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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