Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Sext me about skeletons
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
