I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
