my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
