I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
