I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
