There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
