idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
