what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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