I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
