butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
