i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize