Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
