Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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