Define "chronic" masturbator.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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