jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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