After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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