You made me cry and you don't even care
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
