The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
