brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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