Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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