Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
