I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
