There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize