Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
