Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
