Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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