rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
