Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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