I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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