No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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