I seem to have left my pride at pride
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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