I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I am mentally ready for anal.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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