I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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